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To all you Mean Mom's.

To all you Mean Mom's.

        Someday when my children are old enough to
        understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
        tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
        enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
        and what time you would be home.

        I loved you enough to be silent and let you
        discover that your new best friend was a creep.

        I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
        bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I
        stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

        I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
        while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
        taken 15 minutes.

        I loved you enough to let you see anger,
        disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
        learn that their parents aren't perfect.

        I loved you enough to let you assume the
        responsibility for your actions even when the
        penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

        But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
        NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

        Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
        glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
        And someday when your children are old enough to
        understand the logic that motivates parents, you
        will tell them.

        Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
        meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
        ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
        eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a
        Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you
        can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
        different from what other kids had, too.

        Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
        times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
        had to know who our friends were, and what we were
        doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
        would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
        hour or less.

        We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
        to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
        had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
        cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
        and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
        awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

        She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
        whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
        we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
        eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really
        tough!

        Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
        when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
        so she could meet them. While everyone else could
        date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
        we were 16.

        Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
        things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
        been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
        property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all
        her fault.

        Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
        honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
        parents just like Mom was.

        I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
        It just doesn't have enough mean moms!


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